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Kindergarten. I'm four, plump and young. Chubby. There's dirt and grass all over my uniform, and my pants are torn in fifty fucking places. All I cared about was owning at punchball, basketball, football, hockey... anything that was associated with 'sport' - that was me. I had to be the best at everything. I thought I was the shit. I had tons of friends. Popularity was never an issue because it was assumed. I was lead in the class. I read books all day. I had just started karate. A little boy was in love with me. I danced in front of people. I made everybody laugh. My best friend was my brother. I believe I can fly. I want to travel the world and go to new places, meet new people, and do new things. Disney is my favorite. I idolize Sailor Moon. I argue when I don't get my way.I love my parents.

Flash forward four years later.

I'm in third grade. Proud. Ambitious. I had a combo class with four other smart 3rd graders, chosen to be an example to the other incoming 2nd graders. I felt like the fucking creme'de'la'creme. I learned leadership. I was smart as hell for my age. I found one of my favorite teachers. I finished every book at Camino Grove's library. Probably twice. I loved to sing. I loved to act. I thought I would be famous when I grew up. My kicks were legendary where I trained Hapkido. They were my specialty, and I knew it. I had tons of best friends. But my best friend was my brother. I loved to write and draw. I was writing an epic story, a novel. I dance in front of people, and show them my kicks. My favorite year. I believe I can live forever. I want to travel the world and skydive and do... everything. Disney is still God to me. I am still the shit. I argue when I feel compelled to. Which is all the time. I love my parents.

Another four years later.

I'm beating the shit out of someone in karate, all sweatdrops and flurries of kicks. I'm a second-degree black belt now. More trained. Disciplined at 12 years old. Training for my third-degree. I wanted to be like, Bruce Lee's prodigy or something. Always late. I could do 75 push-ups and not break a sweat. More withdrawn - didn't fit with my group at school, but blended perfectly at my karate. Middle school. Worried about popularity, and started to give in to peer pressure. Was still headstrong, but only with my family, and at my dojo. I was assured of myself. I started liking a boy, my first pre-teen crush. I dance behind closed doors, with my family. I love Abba - dancing queen, and funky town. I watch cartoons all day and draw. Dreamed about highschool and college. I was still working on my story. My best friends are a blonde girl too concerned with her looks, a brunette too concerned with popularity, and my brother. I want to travel the world and see interesting things that'll catch my eye... and meet people with connections. Roswell and cartoon network ruled. I'm still the shit... people just don't know it. I argue about things I'm pissed off about.I love my parents.

And another four years later.

Still headstrong as hell. I argue about politics. Philosophy. Still trained, but weak in discipline. Lazy. Loved high school. In love. Don't keep in touch with friends as much, and am in early college, and it wasn't the dream I dreamed. Love to make people laugh, but I don't try as much anymore. Regret, I don't dance, and I stopped writing a year ago. I call it an extended writer's block. And I call that an excuse. I love Incubus. Instead of watching Disney, I watch horror movies. My mom sold all my old tapes, VHS's, and n64 games. I go to the movies. My best friend is my brother, my boyfriend, and, unfortunately, someone that is boobless, a hor, and has the biggest lips I've ever seen in my life. I love surprises still, but don't get out as much as I used to - want to. People are surprised at how much I grew up, but I'm always surprised at how they don't notice that I'm not the same, if not worse, brat that I was as a kid. I argue alot. I love debating. My goals are more realistic. I love spontaneity, but rarely get a chance to act on it. I want to travel the world to get away. And to have fun. My life is lacking in fun. I love Disney. And I sing in the shower. I'm mad at my parents.

and fuck you, man. I am the shit. :P

My mid-life crisis is going to be chaotic. Happy birthday, me.